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  • Writer's pictureInge Hunter

My councillor turned into my business coach

Episode 1, Season 2 - How my councillor turned into my business coach.

Links to Podcast- Spotify and Apple.

Join me each week for no holds barred account of the realities of being a founder. I'll share juicy extracts from my diary that cover everything from the thrill of landing a new client to the agony of a website crashing made launch. Forget the perfectly curated Instagram feeds and the sanitised success stories. This podcast is all about exposing the raw, unfiltered challenges of business ownership in the digital age. for managing a team of creative misfits to navigating the murky waters of social media algorithms. I'll give you an unvarnished look at what it takes to make it in this industry. So whether you're a seasoned entrepreneur looking for some validation, or a newbie trying to avoid rookie mistakes, is the vs reality has got you covered. Join us for a journey. There's equal parts inspiring and hilarious as we share our triumphs, tribulations and the occasional meanwhile, the meltdown.

Hello, and welcome to the new format of my podcast. If you've been listening in for a while, you'll know that I've been exploring the Insta versus realities of running a business, I decided to change things up a bit for season two, we are very, very deep into looking as into our stats at the moment in the business. And one of the things that really came up was that you guys are really interested in listening to the solo episodes of the podcast, over and above the guest interview podcast.

I will in the future be interested in bringing in some guests interview podcast episodes again, but for now, you'll be hearing from me. And you'll be hearing a very raw, very open, very honest version of how I run my business and how my business integrates to life. Hashtag I don't think that's the thing when you run a business and looking at scaling your business, but hey, that's what we're looking at was two things that I'm going to be covering off each week. And this week, we are starting off with two topics. The first being that my therapist is a great business coach. And the second being that sometimes when you meet someone for coffee for pick your brain session, it is like dating and getting fat. I don't know. I mean, explore. So first thing, I've come back to this podcast episode off of the back of having a massive launch, which went really well. But I don't know if we ever really think that things go well as a business owner, like correct me if I'm wrong. But I think even if I was bazillionaire, I still would find ways to pick holes in anything that happened, statistically went well.

So we managed to increase the company's money and also pull back some of the time that I'm committed in doing like one on one delivery, which is a big win. But it was quite a struggle of a launch, I would say it was quite slow. It took a while for people to get buying, which I'm not used to. And so that kind of threw me off my guard a little bit. And the whole thing I'll be honest, ended in a total meltdown in a visit to the hospital, not the launch in particular. But there's a lot of things going on as there always is, with every business owner, I'm not blind to knowing that we all have our own things going on, we all have loads of things that are happening. But I ended up in hospital due to stress. And one of the things that kind of I think pushed me over the edge is that I am also doing counselling at the moment, on top of the big launch on top of starting a new company on top of running a family household and all those good things. There's just a lot going on.

And so I've got a counsellor. I mean, tell me please, please, please tell me if you know any business owner that hasn't gone through trauma in their life. I think it's in our blood. And in fact, I was having a conversation with a client the other day, who was today who was talking to someone who was interested in starting their own business and one of the closing questions he asked her was, I just like to ask something. Does it matter if I have ADHD and dyslexia you know, I really find it hard to fit into places. And I've really liked to start my own business. I don't want it to get in the way. And her response was grow amongst friends. Like even if you're a business owner, you don't have ADHD and dyslexia don't have autism. You don't have one of them neuro spiciness is that goes on inside of all business owners and entrepreneurs, you'll still know that there's a whole bunch of shit that goes on underneath the surface that makes us the unique people that we are that kind of puts fingers up to society and like yes, I'm gonna do this by myself. Hey. And so I've recently brought on a counsellor to help me work through some of those traumas. I think sometimes, you can feel that Pandora's box opening up a little bit and you think oh, Oh, crap, I should probably deal with this before I continue to push it down for another eight years. And it kind of show up in different ways. So I have a counsellor and I had a write down.

And I went, it was not a laughing matter, but it is with hindsight. And I've realised that my counsellor is the best business coach I have ever had ever, not in a like strategic way, there's she doesn't know anything about business. So like, not in a strategic way. And not in a like, what am I going to do next way. But she, I had a friend who was speaking to about this, who pointed out to me that that's how people should be, but she's a highly trained psychotherapist. And her job is to work as a counsellor. And actually she was, I was sent to her through the doctors. So it's not even like I've gone privately for it, it was, she works for charity. And so she's not making like loads of money off the back of it and things which means she's she's not like she's doing her job, I am going to significantly donate to this charity as soon as I'm done with my sessions, because they have been life changing. So she knows nothing about business. And I can tell her at the beginning of a call, what's going on in my business and what I'm working on, and she can tell me down to the tee, what my trauma response is going to be based upon that business situation based upon my history. I'm like, put down Joanne, she knows so much. And she doesn't even have to know about business. She just knows what I'm going to say, based upon my past reactions and past trauma and the way that it shapes me. Now, some parts of me makes me feel a little bit like, Oh, I'm not special. I'm just enacting my life through normal trauma responses, which doesn't make me feel very special. But equally, she has the most insight on me that I ever had anyone have in my whole life. For example, she turned around to me within one session of working together. And her question was so Inger, do you think that you use the busyness of running a business and launching a new business as a distraction from you having to manage some of your normal things? And I'm like, this Yes. Who doesn't? You know?

I don't know everyone. And that's it. In fact, anyone ever asked that question too, since has been like, yeah, like, Why? Why would you not have a distraction from your normal life? So anyway, if anyone is super busy and can't understand why get a counsellor, I mean, it might be that you're using your business as a distraction from your normal life, because that is a normal, normal process. Who knew? Who knew that dissociation and distraction was so heavily linked in the business growth and ownership was a way to strike me ourselves from the normal world. So I would highly recommend a counsellor. I think they're very, very good as business coaches. Now, in fact, when I message this friend and said, Oh, I've just come off the call with my business. And I'm gonna Freudian slip that there, she's not a business coach, his counsellor was just come up, call my counsellor. And she was able to identify to the tee, what I should be doing my business next, and how I should best support myself to manage my business to grow. Who knew, but it leads me on to my second point of the week, which is that she helped me get through that kind of picking my brains subject.

So if you're in the kind of training space, like like I am, if you educate people as part of your company, or anything, actually, you'll know that there's this kind of nuanced conversation around people picking your brains. And a lot of people like I follow this amazing, amazing social media girl called Phoebe Park, and she has a whole like picking my brains thing. It's only like 30 quid, but she's like, look, I'm fed up of going out to meet with people ending up then picking my brains. And so now you can pay her 30 quid to pick her brains. And I think it's a genius concept. Anyway, so I agreed to go with a call to a coffee with someone that I've met. On line. Well, they've met me, they've like been messaging me on Instagram. They don't live very far when they ask for a coffee. Before I get into it, this was actually a really, really good meet up. We did do a little bit of picking my brains. And, you know, she was really clear on it. But we, you know, it wasn't like a, it didn't feel like an awkward and murky situation.

But anyway, I was trying to talk and explain it to my counsellor because I had I probably shouldn't have done it that time. I came away feeling really drained from the session, not because it was a draining session, but because I had just come out of hospital. I was using business as a distraction. and getting that I got really excited about what they were doing. And we talked through loads and loads of things, notes or plans and that kind of exchange of energy I was just wasn't ready for my brain and body weren't in the right place for it. So anyway, I was talking to my therapist about it, therapist counsellor, I don't know, which was the right word to use, but I was talking to her about it. And she was like, What is this thing? And I didn't realise that it's not a normal thing outside of the business world. Like, the whole picking my breakfast, I was like, Oh, someone asked me to go for a coffee. And she had a bit of a pick and brain session. And I felt really drained afterwards. But I think it's because of this assist. And she's like, why did you wait, I don't get it. So I had to explain it to her. And I didn't realise that people don't do this in the normal world. So it's fine to tell like this. It's like, I was like, Wait, it's kind of like you talk on Instagram for a little while. And then they asked you if you want to go for meet for a coffee. And then you kind of become friends. And she was like, what? And I was like, Okay, it's like dating. So the only way if anyone can think of a better way to explain it, please let me know. But my explanation was that it's like dating.

So you're messaging with someone on a dating app for a little while. And then you decide to meet up. And it's whether or not you get fucked at the end of it. And it feel good. Right. Anyone else? Like I explained that to my husband, and he was like, what? So I guess I'm looking for literal validation, that that is the right explanation. So from now on in the future, I'm just going to refer to picking my brain sessions as an in the way that I think about it, I'm going to have to think am I going to get fucked in this situation or not? Because either I want to, I don't know, am I going to become friends with them or not? So just to caveat, all of that, though, I didn't feel drained after it because I know that she'll probably be listening. I had a great session with you. We had a great chat. We dug deep. I probably personally after coming up hospital was not ready for it. So I felt a bit drained. And I know that I need to take you back. That's another thing about being a business owner, right? I don't know. Again, maybe this is just me. Maybe this whole podcast is going to be me exposing myself for all of my wrongdoings and everyone being like, Oh, that's not right. But I never get around to messaging anyone back. I don't know how big influencers do it. I don't know how they keep on top of all of their DMS. I have a friend Abby. She's the white thistle Schutze. In Season One. We had a good chat. And she has over 100,000 followers. And actually a couple of my clients have over 100,000 followers as well. And I don't know how to keep up with those DMS. I mean, I've got like close to 4000 followers, and I find it really hard. I think you get quicker at it. But anyway, I haven't messaged you back. I'm really sorry. It's nothing on you. I just

have forgotten. Sorry, my life.

So it's probably worth mentioning though, that again, I had another conversation with a number of clients today about the lead up to me going into hospital, and not going to get all down and dreary and in the dumps about ending up in hospital. Because in reality, I should have seen it coming. I had been having adrenaline shakes for months. And if you are listening to this, and you know exactly what I'm talking about, please, for the love of God find a way to slow down. I didn't notice at the time, but I noticed it now. I was I had like a genuine shakes like I would be sat on a call and I just couldn't stop shaking. And I knew that it was journaling because of the way that it made me feel. But I bumped into a friend in Cafe Nero, who is not in business, but who has a lot going on. And she was like how things was like, Oh, I ended up in hospital. And she was like, Oh, me too. Did you notice that you had adrenaline shakes? Oh my god. Yes. I did. And so if you if you have adrenaline shakes, my little bit of takeaway a little bit of hindsight is please, please, please go and get them. Just don't go and get them checked out. You don't need to but just I mean, if you need to, you need to I'm not going to give away medical advice. But go and chill. Chill, chill, chill.

Because if there's any takeaway I'm going to give you from this first episode of my Season Two of Instagram versus reality. It's that no one has their shit together. You can see all these people on Instagram and they look like that absolutely bawling, but in the background might be shaking like a motherfucking leaf and referring to their counsellor as their business coach. Oh my god anywho it's been a really busy week. Practically. I'm in this weird stage now where I am transitioning between Between rounds of training. So saying goodbye to people I've worked with for the past year and saying hello to new people, I'm going to work with this next year. And it's a weird time. Because when you work with someone for a whole year, it can feel real, you can get really close, it can feel really tight. And then suddenly, to kind of say goodbye to them. It's quite a big deal. But I'll leave you with this. They are all real life business owners now. And they will feel like rubber grownups. And those are the conversations I've been having this week.

Thank you, and good night. I mean, who would have thought after

a year here of working on your marketing and growth? There's not one person is everyone that everyone turns around. They're like, Man, I feel like a grown up. I have a real life business. And we all thought that we have real life businesses and therefore first hand begs the question of when do you have a real life business? And when do you actually feel like a grown up? Anywho. I'll leave you with that for the first week. If you have any questions, please send them in the form is in the show notes. I'd love to answer them tune in for my Sunday episode.

And that's a wrap on this week's episode of Insta versus reality. I hope you enjoyed my unfiltered take on what it really means to be a founder in the digital age. Don't forget to tune in every Sunday for my special q&a episode where I answer your burning questions. From the practical to the downright weird, no topic is off limits.

I'd love to hear from you and feature your query on an upcoming episode. Thanks for joining me on this rollercoaster ride or entrepreneurship. I'll catch you next week for more insights laughs and candid confessions on Insta versus reality.

If you have any further questions or want a chat, pop over to my instagram, IngeHunter and drop a message.

Inge x


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