The Reality of ADHD.
Episode 4- Kim Raine 'The Reality of ADHD'
Between the two of us you are a bit like me Kim, we're an idea just kind of comes into your head, do it. And then you go and do something else. And I like answers because that's how I am and then go and do something else.
Yeah, that's exactly what it was. I think I thought about messaging and I probably did message you like, about half past 10 On a Thursday night. Oh my god, you know, who'd be really good for a podcast about the reality of things. An ADHD coach with ADHD? Hell, yeah.
So before we get into it, I'm gonna ask you loads of questions, because I've got loads of questions, but just tell us for the people who don't know who you are. Give us a feeling. Who are you? What do you do, your elevator pitch?
So my name is Kim Raine, and I'm an ADHD coach and health mentor, I think really, that's my kind of thing. And that's a funny thing, isn't it? But ultimately, it's about helping people perform better, or work genuinely with entrepreneurs and professionals, high fliers, men and women and covering mindset, health, wellbeing, and just really helping people stay on track, helping them understand their brains a little bit better, and helping them work with their brains rather than against them, which is something that I've spent a long time doing. I'm sure we'll get into that yet, because that is the reality. And I do that through programmes. I've got a couple of programmes that I run one called ADHD brains and business and one to one coaching. So yeah, that's kind of we've got so much to unpack.
When did this begin? Because it's so topical right now. Everyone's like, I've got ADHD, there's ADHD, tik tok, when you're in the process of beginning.
I've been coaching now for 17 years in various forms. I've been coaching for 17 years. And of those 17 years, the last year, officially, I've been coaching ADHD, the last four years doing it unofficially. And I would say for those 17 years doing it, unaware that that's what I was doing, unknowingly, because it was the kind of people were coming to me. Now I know what ADHD really is, I can see that the people that are attracting because I was coaching, burnout, and sleep problems and health issues, and all of those things that actually can become symptoms of ADHD. So that was the first thing and then one of my high flying clients. And I mean, when I say that I'm talking, she was a global head of talent for a really big media company that you would all know. And she said to me one dose about four years ago, I came I think I've got ADHD and I thought, don't be silly, or you've not got ADHD, like look at you, you're absolutely so successful. I didn't say that to her and had a little look at what it was. And and then I was like, okay, interesting.
And then I realised my daughter had it and actually sort of read out to my husband when like the symptoms and like, oh my gosh, stop bad time management, emotional dysregulation, lack of motivation. hyperfocus read these things out. And I said to my husband, who's just that sound like because it was like, I'd found this answer for her. I was like, who does that sound like and he went, you? That's you. So it kind of came into my life in that way. And then once I started to look at it, because guess what I've got ADHD. So when I look at something, I really look at it. Like every book, everything I could find on it. And then another client came to me and had ADHD, who I've been coaching for a long time, and I'm sure we'll talk about her as we go on. Because there was, I learned a lot from her from coaching her, not knowing she had ADHD through to getting a diagnosis through to getting medicated, and just seeing all the things that I'd coached.
Previously. We were our that's why I so that's kind of how that came up. And then of course, you were with me when the whole side of things Yeah, which was a real, we were in LA on a beach, and I'd been boring people about ADHD for quite a while hadn't iron. I was a bit lost myself in what I was doing the direction as to where it was. And I said to you guys, you know, what should I do, and you were like, you need to do just focus on the ADHD folks in their day to day and I was like, I remember sitting there feeling really sick, because by that time, I had a diagnosis. But I hadn't really gone very public with my own diagnosis. And, you know, not that anyone was totally surprised, but I just hadn't kind of stepped out of that place. And speaking to you guys. And I said on the beach, because you were like, oh, it's all fine, you know, do it, don't worry about it. And you know, you are the person to do it. And all of the things you mean, just sitting in that circle was phenomenal, just like the people with support and just having all those minds that she needed to your business. And then I said, Okay, I said, So how many people in this circle have ADHD or think they have ADHD, and there was about 30 of us there. And it was about six or seven that put their hands up and then a few more kind of like sort of wave their hands like they either weren't sure, or they weren't ready to say, Yeah, by that time, I was also my what I call my Ada was pretty good by then in terms of I was getting to know if you know I'm not a psychologist, obviously is not for me to
to diagnose. But you can recognise some traits.
So I could see it quite easily. So I just suddenly thought, oh, my gosh, we're sitting on this beach in LA, these are some of the most successful entrepreneurs in their space, earning amazing money, having amazing lives, we've been sipping champagne on Rodeo Drive, and it was an AMA, and I was like, Oh my God, everything that's amazing about ADHD is actually sat in the circle. This is what ADHD can do. Because tenacity, the whole like we, we fail, and we get up again, and we go again, and we just and the creativity and all the ideas, and that really changed everything. For me. It changed how I felt about my own ADHD. And I just thought, you know, if I'm actually my daughter's got ADHD, my granddaughter may have ADHD, I don't want her growing up, thinking because I get a, I was getting a lot of emails from people going, I think I've got ADHD, but I don't want to get a diagnosis because I don't want to tell my boss or I don't want my child to get a diagnosis. Because I don't want to because I don't want the label. And I was just like, if we all go around, not wanting to label How are we ever going to step into all this amazingness that's open to us if we focus on the strengths.
So now people do want to label? I feel like this past year. I don't know if it's just because the spaces I'm in but ADHD is just everyone starts yeah, I've got it.
And that's the thing. I quite often say if anyone's listening to this, and you think, Oh, by the end of it, you probably will think you've got ADHD. Because modern life and the way we live our lives, we have a lot of ADHD symptoms, there is a lot of things that we do it increasingly difficult to concentrate and focus and be motivated. And you know, we are more impulsive and all of these things. So I think that a lot of people are kind of like getting the information and thinking, oh, right, maybe I do have and I also think for some of those. It might just be lifestyle, and they don't, but for some of those probably Yeah, they have and what they you know, the the experts believe that 75 to 85% of the people with ADHD are not yet diagnosed. A lot of people Eckstrom. Because I would say, some people I coach are quite intense with their ADHD symptoms, they really are like a real issue. And other people have the symptoms. And it's, you know, they get by so it's definitely like on the spectrum. It is definitely a spectrum.
And I think really, when you look at diagnosis, you need to think about was it a very About was it around as a child? Can I trace it back to my childhood? Can I see times like, you know, when I wrote the book, I said to Mom, can you get any? If you've got any of my old school reports, and she found management, oh my gosh, you wait till you see these men, my sunset reading them absolutely roaring because there was just it was just like ADHD all over them. Oh, like what Kim needs to resist the urge to feel silences with a wisecrack, which is something I still. But you know, it was all with the thing that ADHD is, what what the stereotypical belief around it is, is? Well, it was, we didn't look so much at the strengths. So we looked a lot more at the weaknesses. So it was like, you know, there were things you couldn't do. So for me at school, I was either really great in class and getting top marks, because if I had a good teacher who was engaging, if I had a subject that I liked, I again, it's like anything I would be in, I'd be hyper focused, I'd do really well. But then there were other subjects, where I was a pain in the ass, and I wasn't engaged, and my marks were really low. So my whole reports were filled with Kim needs to try harder. You know, it's Kim's letting ourselves down. All of that sort of stuff. And actually, things that, for ADHD is we need to be interested. And if we're not interested, there's no hope, if we're interested, that fires up our dopamine. And that gets us that gets us going. That's the juice for our brains. But if we're not interested, it's really difficult. So just sitting in a classroom when you're bored, is really hard, or a meeting or, you know, anything that you go to?
Is it true, that women have only recently been able to be diagnosed with ADHD?
Yeah, so it was 1990 when they first I mean, they thought up until then, it was very rare for girls to have it very rare and only really in childhood. And really, the opinion still was that ADHD was a childhood disease for a night disability or whatever you want to call it. And actually, then they started to realise that yes, girls did have it. And that adults also had it. And then what you have now is you have ADHD, so you used to have ADHD and a DD, right? So now you have it's all ADHD.
So you have three types, you have ADHD, which is predominantly hyperactive, which is your, stereotypical, what will you know, more the physical hyperactivity and, and the interrupting and the not being able to sit still? Are you then which is predominantly found in men not so labour children and men is more commonly found in children and men? And then you have the inattentive? ADHD, where the hyperactivity is more cognitive, it's more the racing thoughts. So this is what was your add so much easier to mask much eight, because it's all cognitive. It's all in your head. And this is more common in women and girls. And then you have combined type and most people are combined tight. Now, you don't have the separate things. So what happens is, if you've got ADHD, hyperactive type, and you're at school, you're a pain in the bum. So you get diagnosed more.
Yeah, if you're the inattentive type, you'll probably sit in the back of the class more quietly. Bit of a daydreamer. That's not a pain. So you fly under the radar a lot easier.
So what about then you work with, I suppose, like entrepreneurs. Do you think entrepreneurs have a higher percentage of ADHD? Because actually I was listening to Tiktok also in the Olympics, apparently, a massive amount of them have ADHD? Top athletes.
So yes, I do really think that the guy that I trained with did the ADHD coaching part that he kind of like the head of ads coach is the American ADHD Coaching Academy. He says he believes all entrepreneurs have got ADHD. Which is a really broad statement. And he's a really, really well respected guy. But I think we've all got, you know, if you look at the entrepreneurial space, you have to have that ability to keep getting up to keep having new ideas to keep pushing through to fail fast and to all I always have a solution. Really. And for us guys, it's really difficult. I think of myself in a job, it was really hard. I just couldn't cope with it. I just couldn't cope with being we're not very good at being told what to do for a start. And we just find that structure really challenging. So I think there is a bit of unlikely say, if ADHD is on a spectrum that the same, isn't it, we're all a bit ADHD, well, no, we're not all a bit ADHD. Because if you have ADHD, your brain is structurally different.
So your prefrontal cortex, is slightly thinner. And it's you have these challenges with executive functioning. So but we all have these ADHD tendencies. So we can say, you know, we will have the ADHD tendencies, but I think the entrepreneurial space is a really comfortable space for us. You know, and I think that we really do shine on it shine in it, because exactly that, you know, if something doesn't work, it's like, if you're somebody who is a real lateral thinker, you'll fix it that whereas whereas I think most ADHD is Yeah, you'll be devastated and gutted. Didn't work, but you've probably got another 20 ideas backing up.
Yeah, yeah, exactly. By the end of this thing will be like, we've all got ADHD.
Like, oh, my God, if you think about it, as well, I think that because I've had to really give myself a talking to when I first started really getting into studying it to not think everybody had ADHD, you know, all of the people close to me, but then actually, we do tend to migrate to other you know, we do tend to marry people that have ADHD, because those are the people who we get on with, and it works. Whereas if I was probably married to someone who I mean, I don't think my husband has ADHD. I don't I don't have I don't know what he's got is, you know, he's not, you know, if he was a real straight laced guy, I would have driven him insane. Men, I mean, have driven him insane many years, but he would be gone by now. Right? You know, and I think that, so we do tend to stick together it or migrate to each other. Yeah. And this is just and something there is some I'm going to start reading up about but you know, I kind of think if you think about as a species, we have different colours, different hair different all these things. If you go right back, right back in time, you needed the peep the people with ADHD brains, because they were the people that were like, the hunters and the Yes, sod it, let's just go in the sod the plan, we're just going to do it, we're going to, you know, we're going to make, you know, and through time they were the Warriors and that they were just at the front. They're a bit impulsive, they liked the thrills.
And then you had the and I say, in quotes, the neurotypical people, I don't know who this neurotypical person is, because who is isn't that you know, who is but anyway, you had this, these more organised people more lateral thinking that were like, you're gonna do the hunting, we'll pick the berries, and we'll get the fire started, you know, and that's part of our survival, though, was that we needed these different parts of us to, to survive. So part of me thinks, you know, what will it one day be that, that we have just all got different brains for different reasons, and that it's kind of like a primal thing?
And in which case, what is the big deal, you know, it's just that when you take someone that is maybe this hunter warrior type person, and put them in a classroom and say, what you're going to be the one that picks the berries and starts the fires, and it's really difficult for them. So then what happens is, you feel less than and you feel that, you know, if I look back over my school reports, and that it was all over them, I can just needs to try harder, I can just need to work a bit harder, you know, and this, so you come through life, with this whole rhetoric in your head of I just need to try a bit harder, I just need to do a bit more because what you actually think if you haven't been diagnosed, or later in life, what you actually think is the level the playing field is level, and that everybody's got the same brain as you and the reason that you, you know, always lose things or you're a bit you know, you don't finish things or you this, whatever the things are, is because it's something in you and you just need to try harder, so you just need to work a bit longer. Push yourself a bit more and keep going. And actually, you will never be able to do those things anyway. But if schools were the other way, and actually you took the people who were more logical and said, No, that's not how we do school. We do school like this. And we're going to be out going in the woods and learning stuff and climate Bay would be struggling.
Yeah, God, that's a massive subject, the education system and how it supports.
It is, and I think it's changing because because I have a lot of people that go to me, I feel angry that I was diagnosed late and it wasn't noticed. And I just think one of my clients is a or was she's in her 60s, she's just been diagnosed. And she used to be school governor. And she said to me, Kim, she said, I'm realising now she said, we knew that they there were these children, mostly girls that were under the radar. But we didn't, we didn't know. And now, of course, they all had, they probably had ADHD, and they just needed to be taught in a different way. But they didn't know. So hopefully, things are changing.
I've touched on that a little bit to diagnose. I've got clients who have ADHD or have been diagnosed whilst we've been working together. And some of them it is kind of a bit like, yeah, I always knew. But other people can really, really throw them. So you see people online who are like, Oh, I've just been diagnosed, and it's all like, okay, now I can do this. So now I'm going to start like, it seems like a really fast forwarded version of the complex sense of being diagnosed. What's your experience of the reality of that part? Because what do you feel like, did you feel?
I felt Well, exactly. So I am sitting on that beach in LA. And you guys going? Yeah, you've got it. I knew that it was going to be I needed to go out on Instagram and say, I've got ADHD. And what was going through my head was all the people that have known me all those years and have watched me, going round in circles a lot of the time ago. And you always knew she was like,that hot mesh is an absolute disaster. It's not surprising, of course, she's, you know, and you think all of those things. It was sitting in that circle that change that in that I was like, it's amazing. But I think for a lot of people, there's so much stigma around what rich people think because it is all of those things in like, you know, we care too much what other people think that's part of the problem. But I think the people that and I remember a client of mine, worrying about telling her work and me going, when I get my diagnosis, I'm gonna go straight on Instagram with a T shirt again, ADHD that, and that isn't how it works.
And I definitely think that there is for myself, like I said, self diagnosed four years previously. So my diagnosis wasn't such a thing. But some people it happens in quite a short time. There is definitely that a grief process that people go through, I think, where you suddenly look back and think, Oh, my goodness, maybe things could have been different. I could have had more help at school. My grief process personally was about my daughter, because she's 23. And yeah, she could have had more help at school, she could have things that could have been different. She was 21.
So it is quite a journey. And I think that some people I work with some people who have been diagnosed, I'm really for people getting diagnosed, because I've seen getting a diagnosis is validation. I'm not, you know, crazy, lazy, mad or bad. Yeah. It also gives you self it increases your self esteem, it increases your self compassion. So actually, an example would be people have said to me, Oh, my God, Kim, I think I'm a bit more okay, I've got even more ADHD since I've got diagnosed. And I say, I think you are just being yourself, and you're okay with it. So forgetting, you’re going into a meeting. And if you just put that in there and suddenly think, Oh, my God, I forgot that file. If you don't know, you've got ADHD, and you've just been having one of those mornings, and you're like, Oh, my God, like, I'm so useless. Now, I'm gonna have to tell everyone, I've got the file, I've just got to go and get the file, do a diagnosis, you will think to yourself, I forgot the file, I just need to go and get it. It's just because you know, it's not lacking you. Your brain is structured differently, and you need to remember files, but give me an idea or problem to solve. I'm your man.
So yeah, I think that there is a journey people go through when they're diagnosed. But I think that the difference is that thought process of are you going to step into it? Are you going to the stigma around it?
Because I'm not qualified to do anything. But from where I sit, it doesn't actually change who they are as a person, because they were always that person.
But I think particularly with women and because like I say the high proactivity in the inattentive type, so in women and and adults and men as well, but it's so masked, so a lot of the women that, you know, the first women that I, I'm more aware of it now. And I think that's how I'm morphed into an ADHD coach, because people come in me for burnout, their anxiety, their lack of confidence, struggling to sleep, struggling with overwhelm. And all of that is from keeping this racing persona inside you masked, what actually happens is with that diagnosis, these are people who you would be thinking, no, like, and the other thing, actually the so you'd be like, No way. And, and what I say to people now as well is, if you think you have ADHD, what, and if you've got ADHD, you're probably someone that wants to then tell people or talk to your closest nearest and dearest.
And, as you can tell, I'm quite a verbal person. But it's like you're a verbal processor, but actually, because you probably have mastered it. And because there are a lot of people that don't fully understand ADHD, as we understand it. Now, because of the changes in neuroscience, you may find yourself going to tell people where you feel you have to defend yourself. And that can be not a very nice experience. So I just say to people, you know, just give yourself some space, hang around in the right places, do your research, build yourself up, so you can advocate for yourself, so that when you have these conversations, and people go, What do you mean, you've not got ADHD, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, you're ready to and they're not doing it. nasally? You know, they're doing it with love. It's probably something where I just told you that my first client said to me, I thought she's not got ADHD. It's not out. It's just out of an unknowing. But actually, you want to be in a place where you can go, well, actually, this is how I feel about it. And if you are feeling vulnerable, and you go and tell somebody, they may not, you may come away from that feeling worse. So I just say just pick your people that you share with at first. Okay, build yourself up.
Yeah, you did a great post that stuck in my head, where you've said, ADHD is not your superpower. Because again, I think there's a lot, especially on tik tok in particular, just because there's a massive race ADHD community on there, where everyone's like, the all these things I can achieve. And, and they and if you say like most entrepreneurs have ADHD, and like the, the bit of research I saw earlier that Olympians have ADHD, lots of people, I guess this is saying, quite quick to say it's a superpower. But you didn't pay saying it's not a superpower.
I think it's great. If you're talking to a five year old, it's a great thing to say. But the reality is, there are days when I am my clients, my top for me, it's anything but a superpower. It's exhausting. And here's the thing with, ADHD can be hyper focused so we can get hyper focused on our work and our mission and our purpose. Our bodies don't tell us when to slow down. So we can get that whole overworking thing, you can get the overwhelmed thing where every bit of information comes into us as equally important. So whether it's I've got to pick up the dry cleaning, or I've got to redo my mortgage right now, because everything's closing in, or I've got to do this on the sales page. And it can all seem really overwhelming. And I think sometimes this whole idea that it's some kind of superpower is almost going the other way of giving people the impression that if you've got it, I'm really struggling to hold this all together.
But now I know I've got ADHD and I should be able to because I've got this superpower. It just makes women and men who are already having to work a bit harder than most to do simple tasks feel even worse about themselves. And I think that we have some amazing strengths that others don't have that we take for advantage and overlook that, you know, other people are like, well, I could never do that.
What do you mean, people go to me. So what were you doing in LA? Well, that's your work, they can't get there. A lot of people can't work us entrepreneurs out like how we, yeah, make a living doing what we do. But I think that with the superpower thing, I just think that we've got keep it real and ADHD is really difficult. It's really hard. And I think when you know like I say by the end of it, everyone will think they've got ADHD. I think that the difference is if if you have ADHD, it impacts your life in a big way. You know that In terms of self esteem is the big one burn out. I mean, like, that's, like I say, people were coming to me because they were burning out. ADHD is burnout again and again.
And again. It's something that happens a lot our nervous systems are switched on. Most of the time was super sensitive. The hyperactivity, like I say, can be cognitive. So the thoughts can just be racing. And actually, if you have the right outlook, if you have, you know, I consider myself quite lucky that like, because I've been coaching 17 years, I've studied mindset, and I have that around me. But before that, my mindset was really quite negative, because human beings are, you know, we're negativity bias, we're always going to look at the things that could go wrong. That's what I reminded us for to check for danger all the time, what could be going wrong? And so if you are having all these super fast thoughts, that you haven't really got control over naturally, they're going to drift towards the more negative side of things very easily. So it can be really difficult having ADHD for sure.
Does it then irritate you that it's so kind of topical and popular at the moment? I guess there's a good side and a bad side.
For like, it doesn't irritate me, because I think that it's thanks to that, that I'm seeing so many myself, my daughter, you know, her diagnosis has changed her life. My diagnosis has changed my life. It wasn't a huge surprise when I actually thought about it. For me, I'm 49 coming into perimenopause, that's when it all kind of went wrong. In terms of it became a bit unmanageable. So it did. I'm quite glad that it's getting what it you know, the attention it deserves. So yeah, it doesn't bother me, because I do think that actually, what I'd like to say, I think we're at the beginning of a new Oh, my gosh, paradigm, like around ADHD, so because everyone is gonna hate that word paradigm. I'm gonna throw it in there. But you know, I would love it to think that in 10 years time, everything I look through is the eyes for my daughter, my granddaughter is that, you know, if she does have ADHD, maybe she will, maybe she won't, but ADHD is highly hereditary, which it goes back.
Fascinating, though, but these are the things that people don't know, so it's like, if you have if you have a child with ADHD, as a mother, there's one study that shows you're 24 times more likely to have ADHD yourself, you know, and there are things that make ADHD worse. So your environment, you know, if you grew up in chaotic environments, sometimes it does also skip a generation, there are traits and things passed through families that exacerbate ADHD and ways of living. But yeah, it's highly, highly, highly hereditary. So I would love to think that the stage that we're at now is the beginning and the catalyst for in 10 years' time, it being Okay, so you've got ADHD, so actually, these are probably the best subjects for you, or whatever. And that actually will come to a point where it's just not a big deal. It's just a different thing, you know, but understood, but with the understanding of, because a lot of the symptoms of ADHD that make it quite unbearable as an adult come from that square peg in a round hole, that from not being able to be yourself.
If my granddaughter grows up in a world where she's more accepted and more able to be herself, then hopefully, she won't have those, self esteem problems and all of that sort of stuff. Because a lot of my clients who come to me, they've no idea they've got ADHD. And sometimes I'm literally on a discovery call thinking, right? Okay, but it's not my thing to go and point, my great big ADHD finger at people. But as a coach, you have a behind the scenes view of things. So, yeah, poaching is a dance and they'll come a point and actually, you know, I remember saying to one client, after we'd had a couple of sessions, and I said Have you considered and she found me 24 hours after that instrument? What have you done to me? I've just spent the last 24 hours laughing, crying, getting angry and getting sad. But this is completely me. But people don't really know what ADHD is, as well, like you're saying this is a massive conversation that you didn't.
But with it being a big, popular kind of topical trend, there's a lot of misinformation as well.
I think there's a lot of misinformation. I think there's a lot of it's a really easy thing to jump on. Right? Yeah, I don't want to devalue it for people. I'm saying that look at me, though. That's what I talk about all the time. So you know, I'm just as, as guilty as that of that jumping on thing. I just think that there's what we do need to be careful of is, have you know, is it ADHD? Like, there's a couple of things. Is it ADHD? Or is it menopause? That's like a whole nother subject. But menopause brings up a lot of ADHD symptoms, like the brain fog, the anxiety, the lack of motivation, you know, all those things? And also, is it ADHD? Or is it your lifestyle and the way you're living your life? And are you looking for excuse slash labour, whatever you want to call it. And really, you just need to get off your tech and you need to be a bit healthier and things will make a huge, a huge difference.
Is there anything you would have done differently? Or that you would advise your clients to have done differently? Now that you have kind of gone through this whole process of going from, coaching, mindset, health, wellness, into narrowing down into ADHD and having your own diagnosis?
I don't know, I don't think when I realised I had ADHD, one of the things I asked myself, so I was working with quite a few people with ADHD and seen and had been for a while, was like, Okay, I've clearly got ADHD, why is it not a big problem? Like, why is it not causing the problems that some of my clients are coming to me for? And what I realised was because I had a coach mindset, I had started life as a personal trainer. So actually, my life generally was keeping fit and healthy. I would exercise five days a week, had a dog, I would walk, I got into meditation when I was in my early 40s, after a burnout. I was doing a quite a lot of these things that were actually keeping ADHD at bay. So I think that if I think we should all be doing those things on a more regular basis and looking after ourselves. That's one thing.
And then there's just lots of things that I wish, certainly coming into my 40s, I sold a business back in 2019. And coming out of that, and I've seen this a lot, and trying to find my feet and get going again, because actually the business I sold actually had quite a lot of structure. And I didn't realise it was very structured. And it was very passive. Trying to get going again, I went round in a lot of circles. And I see. And I think that's the entrepreneurial blessing and curse as well. It's great that we can have all these ideas. But actually, as well, I think that for me, I wish that I had known then what I know now because I would have understood actually come you just have to have a plan and stick to it. And really learn to pause and look at where you're going. Because otherwise we can go off in all tangents. And that's something that I say to clients a lot is like, okay, is this in the plan? Because I think, yeah, because we're just before when we were talking, you were like this, this this says, oh, no, Shipway it's not in my plan.
And that's the whole thing. Like, you know, we were at an event last week, and it was amazing. And you just sit there thinking I want to do that. I want to do that. And normally beforehand, I would have been like, Yeah, let's do it. And I just signed up to it and offered have gone on another tangent and it just leaves. You know, so you do these things, but you never actually get to a point where you're comfortable. So I've seen loads of entrepreneurs always creating, because they've always, so they're always in creation, or they're always doing or they're always doing and actually that doesn't pay that doesn't earn you money. What anti money is sitting and selling what you've created, but we'll be really careful to get really bored of it. So there's lots I wish I'd known for years ago because I think I would have been more. I did have a couple of years where I was kind of like I've had a good business, but I wasn't as it didn't didn't grow like it could because I was a bit all over the show.
Is there anything that you don't share? Like anything that you don't actively because you're quite open about it, in the way that you might get bitten when you are like I've got ADHD I will help you with ADHD. I help entrepreneurs with ADHD. Is there anything you actively don't know maybe like stigma or?
Yeah, I share more now that I have. So when I came back from LA, I said to my husband, he picked me up from the airport. And I was telling him all about it. And I said to him, and it really freaked me out. I said to him, because I'm right I had these big Facebook groups, I had a couple of big groups that are all around health and well being and being this perfect coach and etc, etc, when that's Instagram versus reality, because no, perfect. I remember my Sainsbury's man once going to me, what do you do? And I just said, as a life coach, cuz it's the easiest thing to say. And you must be really good at life. And I went, brilliant thing in my life. But I said to my husband in the car, and I said, I'm going to open this great, and it's going to be ADHD brands with business, and then I can really be my true self. And as I said it, I'm getting emotional. I didn't even realise how much I'd held back. So I definitely share more now than I ever have. I mean, my husband said to me before he seen me doing a live show and he said, Do you know what it's like living with David Bowie and Ziggy Stardust. Because sometimes I'd just be bouncing off the walls, and I'd be going on trying to be this perfect coach, but I don't do that anymore. So I'm a lot more myself.
That's amazing. Anything else that you want to say or share?
I think we've covered quite a lot. We have made good ground.
Where can we find you if we want to?
I'm on Instagram as the entrepreneurs ADHD coach. And I've got a Facebook group called ADHD brains in business that you can come and find me over there. And that is a really amazing community of business owners who either are diagnosed or self diagnosed or ADHD curious, think they may or have not had it, where we share all sorts over there so come and find us there. And I've written a book called Square Pegs, which is not so much the ADHD. I say it's a book about ADHD, but it's not. It's a book for people with ADHD. Book of self discovery for women with ADHD. And it's really aimed at women who have an ADHD diagnosis later in life. They've kind of spent their life fitting in and then they're like, Oh, cool. I didn't if that makes sense. And it's more of a coaching book.
That sounds like a great book. Is it on Amazon?
Yes. It's on Amazon. If you put in square pegs, Kim Raine.
Yeah with an E on the end, not like drizzly rain. It has been said before.